C'est la vie!

28/5/06 (星期日)

十一時回教會，下著滂沱大雨，穿Converse長褲的我，在短短五分鐘的路程中，下半身濕透﹗Crazy Rain!!!!回到教會，剛洗完頭的我被誤為沒帶雨傘，全身濕透。幸而看到小琪，心情會平靜一點。今天的道聽得挺投入的，樹霖哥哥說禁食。但從中我在想我真的要好好的想一想前面的事奉應該如何。大概是由於與生俱來三分鐘熱度的性格，我真的要找一些方向去突破一下自己。我也參加了禁食的操練，我想我可以做到的。哈哈，而且自畢業旅行以後，好像很久沒有長期的看聖經了。我要努力向上。
其實星期五，我很不開心，我禁食了午餐，看了二十章詩篇。這是我第一次禁食。我也覺得心情充實了一些。

崇拜完了跟團友到合興隆食飯，時間總覺得過得太快，沒來得及好好關心對方，又要離開。Cathy和小琪說想八月去泰國，也問我有沒有興趣。我對水上活動有興趣，但我對泰國沒有興趣，而且由她倆發起，接踵而至的同行者會是誰呢？一定很多人。但我總覺得太多人去旅行，萬一性格不合，一定好多麻煩。

下午是三福佈道日，和米姐一隊，上了葵涌村。

完了和皮皮、傅傅食個Tea，嘩!!真係好耐啦，好耐沒跟他倆坐下來食飯了。跟他們一起對我而言是十分難得﹗兩個帥哥跟我進餐真的很興奮。皮皮很久沒有跟我食飯了，至少有三星期。話曬以前個個星期都會找一找他食飯。但自從做Temp後，平日放工真的不是太有Mood找朋友食飯。不過他最近也是少了找我，但我知道他對我總是好的。傅傅又轉回舊公司做，完全feel到一個人鐘意做一份工同唔鐘意做一份工的分別。雖然他的舊公司很忙，勁OT，又要返大陸，但是他Enjoy, Everything go easy!所以真係應該找份比較有興趣的工作。大家好像也因為工作(還是心情？)而不返教會，真可惜。雖然很好的朋友，但我總不知可如何勸他們，也不知說什麼可以令他們知道我是著緊他們。我好像只懂呆等他們終有一天回團契。不過有得跟他們食野都好開心。

7.00pm 去灝景灣跟Kityan, man and siu lai打羽毛球，好開心。打了一小時，不算太辛苦。

8.30pm watching queer eyes in home!It's the first time I'm watching TV show over half hour in home.It's so attractive.They(these guys) helps a man (called christian) to hold a wedding ceremony in that night. They need to organise all things in one afternoon!That's amazing!!I like this program!

9.30pm 好像很久沒見Nickita，本來約了她昨晚，但甩了她底。今晚和Nickita傾了很多，她工作十分辛苦，亦不是自己喜歡做的，她開始跟我之前臨辭工的心情差不多，心情十分苦悶，很累，回家睡、睡、睡。當一個人很討厭工作，看電視反而變成一件快樂的事，因為沒什麼比躺著而不用思考更幸福。很明白她，我知道我們都不可缺少對方。

今天真充實。

滿足到...

27/5/06 (星期六)

返團契好開心。最近比較開心的就是跟朋友去街和返團契了。

團契的查經，蔡Sir說得精彩絕倫，聽得十分投入。大家也十分開心。之後開Camp會，有蔡sir在，開會感覺比較輕鬆生動。心中真的十分佩服蔡sir的機智和說話能力，好像有他在的地方就有歡笑和思想似的。

和Coco兩人食飯，好像已經是很久之前的事。今晚很難得有這個機會，大家也說了很多，她分享了很多學唱歌、在ACM事奉、在佈道所事奉。原來她心中真的很有大志，雖然她口中說著「我是一個沒有理想的人」，但我覺得她目標很明確、很清晰，她在事奉上必定有一番作為。

跟她兩個人相處，真的很開心。她不拘小節，但很有自己的思想，也喜歡想東想西，又有些藝術家特質，愛美化一些東西之餘，不時也發下藝術家的脾氣。對著她，我會小心一點，但我知道即使我們一起發脾氣，也很快會和好如初的。因為她說「我們是兩個個體」，思想總有不同，我愛西洋、她愛東洋。但願我們互相體諒更多、分享更多。

我們在COMMA CAF?食到尖沙咀魚蛋，吃了很多，十分滿足。行了很多，把我們熱透。快樂的時間很快就過，不久已經十二點。

開心的事，兩樣也做齊了。

Xmen 3

26/05/06(星期五)

早午的心情也十分差。但晚上好了一點。

但晚上相約了Cheery, Kate, Siu k and Alvin 看Xmen 3，Kate想看，我們一起去看，果然不錯。

之後去了Pizza Hut 食Pizza，好開心，因為是我想食Pizza，Kate又就我，真好。可是叫了杯黑牛，攪到Kate 不適，都係杯黑牛衰，大好一晚，比佢影響曬。

今晚Kate好像不太開心似的，不知因為她工作辛苦，還是什麼原因呢？

big girl, don't cry

26/5/06 (fri)

Wake up late.
I still enjoy the breakfast in cafe d' carol.
Repeating the boring duty in the office.

Tired in finding job,I'm taking rest in these 3 days.
But I cried in the toilet near the office because I feel deeply depressed and different unhappy reasons.

I don't care I haven't job (sometime it's a happy thing if having money), but I feel the relationship with God is getting worse and losing confidence with him.Extremely Worse at all!!!

Started to find that Dream is not existing in the world.May be I should say no dream can be achieve in this society! Not the world, just in HK.

He seems changed a lot in this short period from dreamaholic to factaholic.He said "hey, baby you are most beautiful and cute in the world" in the past. He said "Don't say silly things." It seems implict we are too naive in his eyes now. Oh! My heart is broken when he is so cool recently. I know I can't expect he tell me all things. However, I just know he affected my emotion.

Today I haven't lunch and I prayed to God with tears. Please Please Please show me the direction.

I want to go back your wings and protected by you.

好頹

唉﹗搵工搵到好頹，我決定了—休息三天﹗﹗哈哈哈哈。下星期才再找。

常常有人問我想做什麼？其實我是想做一些得意、好玩、要見客、攪function、寫下野的工作，但因為怕最近找到的，根本不是這些，所以成日都不好意思回答。

其實過去一星期發生了很多快樂的事情，可是我沒心機，所以不願打日記，日日在家中沉睡。

19/5 (星期五)
去了九龍灣工業區的現代美容interview，in copywriter(撰稿員)，做了個簡單written test，開始寫了三句就要收(說已夠鐘，卻從來沒說有多少時間做)，之後兩個男人不停問我問題，卻又不停打擊我「我地呢度放勞工假，即是節日是沒有得放的。」「我地冇double pay」「我們老闆要你點就點，佢五時花六時變」「你呢個位都應該冇我 ot(暗指應該好悶)」，人事部的職員唔係好得，佢晚上打來叫我2 in，但我不會去了。

晚上回了教會練歌，是聖樂崇拜前最後一次，好玩。完了和Coco去葵芳行街，在Bossini 的英格蘭內衣好靚，正。Coco想買衫，揀唔中。找了Cheery，一起行，想去Paris caf?飲野，但已差不多關門。興之所致，約了春天出旺角飲野，和coco、 cheery、春天去了最近常去的21樓comma caf?，食了些東西，又飲我最愛的士多啤梨奶昔。好玩、好食、好飲、好開心。春天同我們有講有笑。飲到兩點。
回家自行查經，看電視，五點才睡。

20/5 (星期六)
起來，返教會查經，得好少人，但仲好。自己查得不好。
青年部合團，仲修、皮皮、斌仔帶遊戲，好好玩，皮皮再落力些更好玩。
完了青年部食野，做下waitress，如果不是讀到大學，做sale or waitress should be my career, actually I enjoy it!

完了和Cheery、Kityan、kenny 去了觀塘APM 行街，本來說去看《The Da Vinci Code》，我好想睇，但某人不想看，哈哈，去吃飯吧。去了Red Ant，幾好食喎，小食好正，值得一去。一邊食飯，一邊談心，大家分享了很多，Kityan 又不說心事給我們聽….(依~)其實我知，不過你可以打開心扉講埋比佢地知，都咁熟啦。之後去了尖沙咀的Bar 飲野，我地下次去d靜些的Bar啦。雖然我們沒有因環境而破壞氣氛。大家都分享很多不同的意見，好開心，好舒服。大家也是真性情的人。同你們一起真開心。又是兩點才走。



21/5 (星期日)
險些死，昨夜2.00睡，今天6.30起來。回教會獻詩，唱得都幾開心。比Kityan、Kenny說我唱得浮誇，對，我是刻意的，扮亞雯嗎!!!!哈哈哈，最衰唔係同亞雯企，否則可以比併一下。

等到四點，開職員會。

七點完，去葵芳找Nickita，很久沒見她。
我們去了《好好》食晚飯，好開心。之後行了一會，我累得快死，潔雯陪我在公眾地方睡覺。我們在噴水池的地方坐，我睡著了，真的很很很累。
回想上年去旅行時，她總是在看行李，我就在火車站睡。很有這種味道。
一起去看《The Da Vinci Code》，正，有Audrey Tautou and Tom Hanks, yes! I haven’t read that book, but it’s not a bad film for me!


22/5 (星期一)
Working in the boring office.
After work, I went to Kwai Fong and shopping with Kate. She is always sweet for me although she look like cool. She bought me a birthday present.Yeah~Thanks~

23/5 (星期二)
去了九龍灣一間廣告公司in copywriter(撰稿員)做了個written test~這公司主要是做樓盤廣告。佢叫我明天去interview~其實對廣告行業有興趣，也想做copywriter，但卻不是做樓盤廣告，也不想在九龍灣的工業區上班(哈哈)

24/5 (星期三)
去了灣仔見工是一間叫Arden Advertising and decroation LTD見了十分鐘而已，又是那句「見緊其他applicant，有2nd in ，一星期內會打電話給你」，這句說話聽得有些膩，而且感到煩厭。

To be tough!!!

Totally depressed in these 2 days in oreder to no job, no money, no mood, feeling upset and losing the confidence to God and myself.

yesterday, i went to prayer meeting in the church alone although i wanted to gomhome after i off.I though many excuses not to go church including tired, bad weather and no persons go with me........

But i still went to the meeting. Actually I don't concentrate so much as I feel so depressed.

I pray to God, I want to find you and go back your side.I am weak and the heart is nearly collapsed.I really need Him. I listened a person prayed and remind the story about footpint.....and I'm so touching.......

I need to be tough!!!

A letter to Oscar

I’m worrying you, My baby, My love.

You don’t know how we (Kate, Cheery and me) worry you in these days. I feel little bit sorrow when I was reading your diary that you said you are missing all friends in Ireland or Met in Ireland every time.
I want you happy but I can’t help you and can’t by your side. We know that you didn’t want to hear our phone (should say no mood to hear).We know we can’t force you as well (Thus I choose show my care in my diary)

As I understand you are not satisfy what you are doing in HK and missing them. You started to plan/think about your future with Gavin, Clint and Chris. You may go to Australia in the coming future. You don’t like to work here and no dreams can be achieved any more if you stay in HK, right?(may be i totally misunderstand you, please tell me)

We want to say that WE SUPPORT YOU to achieve your dream.
No Matter you want to live in Ireland or work in Australia, or go shen yang with your best and brilliant friend Gavin (It’s better to bring me go as well, haha )~
I really want to cry out: “We will support all your decision.”

Sharing with us if you are down, you are sad, you are sorrow or painful~
(tell you a secret) We are jealous Raymond. You share all the things and sleep with him all the night, but not us!(for sure we understand you have choice to choose talking with whom)

I miss you just like the way you miss them~
We are waiting you, My love Oscar.

第 七 型 ： 活 躍 型 (Adventurer)活 躍 型 的 你 ， 就 是 如 此 這 般 ： 樂 觀 、 精 力 充 沛 、 迷 人 、 好 動 、 貪 新 鮮 、 五 時 花 六 時 變 … … 「 最 緊 要 玩 得 開 心 」 就 是 你 的 生 活 哲 學 ！ 你 們 很 需 要 生 活 有 新 鮮 感 ， 所 以 很 不 喜 歡 被 束 縛 、 被 控 制 。 你 的 活 力 是 玩 的 活 力 ， 又 跟 第 三 型 的 成 就 型 又 有 所 不 同 ， 相 信 你 們 是 活 動 攪 手 ， 玩 極 唔 厭 ！

try this personality test

http://www.uzone21.com/WOT/sdu/enneagram/test.epl

12/5/06(星期四)

no mood in these days.........
Receiving the phone from mint communcation that i did the writing test yesterday ask me to have a real interview on next tuesday.But my heart still waiting for MINDSHARE!

Sad and down from the heart without reason......

Watching Oscar's diary.........he is missing other side of the Earth.........why I also feel upset because of him?

Today I had an interview and a written test.

The first one is Mindshare. It is a global full service company (copy from the website, hahha). That mean it’s a big company. I always said “I want to work in the media field, but I don’t know how can I enter this field. I’m lucky that I have a good friend(Nga Ting) help me to ask her friend called Heissen work in the media field and he tell me background about media. I sent some email to the media companies that I heard from Heissen.
Today, I took MTR to Quarry Bay for long time and facing to PCCW Tower. There are many foreigners!! Wah ~So high Class! I sat in the conference room of Mindshare and did a counting test (% and exchanging rate). A Question of the test is asking changing HK dollars into yen……Oh I phoned to Siu K and ABC fan immediately, but no one answers my phone!
After half hour test, 2 ladies came and started the interview. It’s a common conservation for half hour and I talked so much. They said waiting phone for one or two weeks. (Really hate to wait!!!) Please pray for me ~I want this job so much~

The second one is mint communication. As I think, it’s a marketing company, located in the same building of my temp job ( that's Vicwood in Sheung Wan). The company is small and fewer people in there. The written test is translating both Chinese and English for each in one hour. For sure, the passage translating into English is more difficult for me.

In fact, Wen Wei Po(newspaper) called me to have 2nd interview but I decided to give up working in there because of long working hours and no church life. After I finished the interview in mint communication, I’m late to go Wen Wei Po.

I went back home and see 881903 website and I found the advert of recruit. I sent the email as quickly as possible. I won’t to give up any chance to work in commercial radio!! haha~

Haha~I want to improve English, so I try to write~correct me if i'm wrong.(espically Oscar and Oliver)

no mood(9/5/06)

No mood to find job today.

But i have 2 interviews tomoroow.Really want to success in one of these interview!

Boring in the office.yeah ~no need to work tmorrow~

When i was watching the message from all your lovely baby to leave here,I feel warm and sweet from the deeply heart.Thanks for all my love.

冷靜~

很久沒有打日記。
今天是2006年5月3日
已經個半月了，但仍未找到工作，心情忽視間有些沉重，幾時才找到工呢﹗今天有一個agent打來，說想請你來in下，說大公司，我已經心知不妙，問她是什麼公司，還帶我遊花園，最後仍是說「康宏」，即收佢線，佢一打來bilibala，又唔肯講咩公司，差點兒想鬧她。

我其實也不是太想返份temp，但沒法，要錢才能生活，首次感到為錢而打工的無奈。今天同事終於找我一起吃飯，但我已不想去，一來返工前去吃了豐富早餐，二來還是想在午飯時間找工。伉天好像有點失落感。

其實一直也不知道自己想做什麼，沒有目標，真的有些麻煩......

waiting for a good job...........